"I'm not a carer"

It is something we hear a lot.

“I’m not a carer.” “I’m just helping Mum.”  “We’ve been married 40 years so of course I help with his tablets.” 

“It’s not really caring. It’s just what you do for your family.”

But caring does not always look the way people expect. It does not have to mean full time or hands on. It might just mean you are the one who notices, organises, encourages or holds everything steady in the background.

If you are supporting someone regularly because of their age, memory or health, emotionally or practically, you might be a carer. Even if you have not thought of yourself that way before.

Why it matters

When people do not see themselves as carers, they often miss out on support they are entitled to. That includes time, space and understanding.

At Good Company, we work with lots of people who would not have called themselves carers when they first got in touch. Some are supporting a parent. Some are looking after a partner. Some are quietly helping a neighbour down the road. Some are doing it alongside work, children or their own health challenges.

We are here to support you, whether or not there is a diagnosis and whether or not you use the word “carer.”

Everyone who joins us is a member. You might come along to a Club, join a Circle, have a friendly chat with one of our Hosts or just find a space to catch your breath.

Many carers find our Circles especially helpful. These are small, supportive groups where you can talk about what is happening, reflect on how things feel and know you are not doing it alone.

You might be a carer if

• You are checking in on someone every day

• You are organising meals, medication or appointments

• You have stopped doing things you used to enjoy because someone else needs you

• You are always listening, noticing and quietly holding things together

Even if it does not feel like proper caring, it can be tiring, especially when it goes unrecognised.

What support is available?

Once you recognise yourself as a carer, it can unlock all kinds of help:

• You might be able to get a Carer’s Assessment from the council

• You could be eligible for council tax discounts or financial support

• There are groups offering befriending, respite and emotional support

• You might find value in simply talking to others who understand

Helpful resources

• Respite and Befriending: Association of Carers

• The Certainty of Change: Getting Help

• Council Tax Reduction and Other Local Offers

• Spring into Something New with Dementia Adventure

• When Behaviour Changes: What to Know and What to Do

In their words ...

“Good Company has been an absolute lifeline. The volunteers are amazing, and I’ve learnt so much from the expert talks. On top of that, I’ve made wonderful friends through Good Company - people who understand the challenges and share the laughs too. That mutual support means the world.”

“You’ve provided a wealth of encouragement, an understanding ear and have helped us access a ‘normal’ life. The Circles gave me a lifeline. Above all, I know that whatever my problem, you are just a call away.”

“When I asked my husband why he kept asking so many questions, he said, ‘I want to talk to you, I want to hear your voice, and I want to love you.’”

Behind many questions or behaviour changes is often a wish to connect. That is what we try to support, every day.

You are not alone

Caring does not always feel dramatic. It can be quiet and constant. But it can also be heavy.

Recognising yourself as a carer does not change your relationship. It simply means you are allowed to say, “This is a lot,” and get the help you need to keep going, without losing yourself in the process.

If you are not sure where to begin, talk to us. We are here for the in between moments. Before crisis. Before labels. Before you even know what to ask.

It is never too early or too late to get support. Even one gentle step can make things feel lighter.