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Talking about dementia and driving

  • May 18, 2025
  • 7 min read

Updated: May 31

When someone is living with a dementia, driving can be one of the hardest topics to talk about and one of the hardest changes to navigate. It is not just about safety. It is about identity, independence, and the life they have always lived. This guide is for anyone facing that moment.



Understanding Dementia and Driving


Dementia is the loss of memory, language, problem-solving, and other cognitive abilities. It does not refer to a single disease but is a broad term covering several medical conditions, including Alzheimer’s.


Many types of dementia are progressive and gradually worsen over time. While someone may still drive safely in the early stages, the risks increase as the condition progresses.


Dementia can affect insight and judgment, creating potentially dangerous driving situations. It may also lead to mood or personality changes, which can make reactions more unpredictable and behaviour behind the wheel more erratic or aggressive.


Knowing When It Is Time to Stop Driving

It is not always easy for someone with dementia to recognise when it is no longer safe to drive. If someone you care about has received a diagnosis, keep an eye on their driving habits and look out for early warning signs.


These may include:

  • Reports or concerns from family, friends, or neighbours about unsafe, erratic, or aggressive driving

  • New dents or unexplained scrapes on the car

  • Getting lost on familiar routes or taking far longer than expected

  • Driving too slowly or hesitating at junctions

  • Mixing up pedals or struggling with traffic signs

  • Increased anxiety or frustration while driving

  • Physical health problems that affect vision, hearing, or movement

  • A rise in car insurance premiums following recent driving issues

  • Traffic tickets, warnings, or minor accidents

  • Advice from a GP or consultant to stop or review their driving

Sometimes there is no single dramatic event. It may be a steady decline of confidence, memory, and decision-making that builds into a real risk. Spotting these signs early can help prevent harm and allow time to plan a better alternative.

What the Law Says

In the UK, it is a legal requirement to notify the DVLA if someone has been diagnosed with dementia. This applies whether or not they still feel safe to drive. A GP or consultant may be asked to give an opinion, and in some cases, the person may need to take a driving assessment (Read our first hand account of taking a driving assessment).

Depending on the stage and impact of dementia, the DVLA may:

  • Allow the person to continue driving with regular reviews

  • Temporarily suspend their licence

  • Revoke the licence altogether

If the person refuses to report their diagnosis, you might feel stuck. But you can contact the DVLA yourself if you are genuinely concerned. You will need to clearly explain your concerns and may be asked for written confirmation.

More information is available at: www.gov.uk/dementia-and-driving

How to Talk About Giving Up Driving

This is one of the most common and emotional challenges carers face. Driving is often tied to freedom, routine, and dignity. Raising the topic, let alone suggesting it is time to stop, can feel like a betrayal.


You might already be feeling nervous about the conversation. You might be met with denial, frustration, or sadness. Planning ahead and approaching it with care can make a real difference.


Here are some things that can help:

Choose your moment Find a quiet time when you are both calm. Try not to raise the topic mid-journey or during a disagreement.

Be honest but kind Focus on concern, not criticism. You could say something like: “I know this is hard to talk about. But I have been feeling worried when you are driving. I think it is time we look at other options before something happens.”

Keep it about care, not control

Let them know it is not about taking over but about helping them stay safe. “I want to talk about this because I care about you and everyone around you. Not because I think you have done something wrong.”


Acknowledge their feelings

Giving up driving can feel like a huge loss. Let them talk. Let them be angry, sad, or quiet. You do not have to fix everything in one go.


Bring someone else in if needed

Sometimes it helps to involve a GP, another family member, or a trusted friend so it does not feel like a personal attack or a power struggle.


Stay patient and consistent

This may not be one conversation. It may take time to reach acceptance. You might need to come back to it more than once. Try to stay calm, even if it gets tense.


Use official guidance if necessary

If safety is a serious concern, you can contact the DVLA yourself. But whenever possible, try to include the person in the process so it feels less like a decision being forced on them.


Guidance from our carers:

“I kept the conversation about safety for him, for other people. It was not easy, but he heard that.”
“I had the GP explain it to him. Coming from me, it felt like a fight. Coming from her, it was just something that needed to happen.”
“We planned some trips by train and bus and made it a bit of an adventure. That helped a bit. Made it feel like less of a loss.”
“Honestly, I felt guilty. But also relieved. I stopped holding my breath every time he went out.”

There is no perfect script. But approaching the conversation with honesty, care, and preparation can help it go more smoothly. And if you need support yourself, you are not alone. We are here to help.


Coping With the Change

For many people, driving means freedom and independence. Losing that can feel like losing control over everyday life. Popping out to the shops, going to the GP, or visiting friends may no longer be as easy as grabbing the keys and heading out.

If someone you care about is struggling with the transition, the most helpful thing you can offer is quiet, compassionate support. Listen without judgement. You do not need to have all the answers, but being present makes a real difference.

Here are some ideas that can help ease the transition:

Build a new routine Create a rhythm that includes regular lifts from family or friends, planned outings, or shared activities. A weekly schedule can offer structure and reduce isolation.

Keep hobbies going Encourage creative or absorbing activities like gardening, painting, photography, writing, or crafts. These can offer a sense of purpose and joy.

Stay social Look into local clubs, groups, or Circles where they can feel connected without needing to drive.

Use alternative transport

Research community buses, volunteer driver schemes, taxi cards, dial-a-ride services, or subsidised options in your area.


Make the home environment easier to navigate

Using labels, visual schedules, or reminders can support daily planning and help rebuild confidence.


Try gentle tech support

Voice assistants or mobile apps can help with reminders, directions, or communication.


Look into travel concessions

Some people qualify for Blue Badges, travel passes, or local support that can ease the pressure.


There will still be difficult days. But with encouragement and the right support, life can remain full and active without a set of car keys.


If You Are Still Unsure

This is not an easy decision. You may feel torn between supporting their independence and keeping them safe. If you are in doubt, you could:




Other Transportation Options for People With Dementia


Giving up the car does not mean giving up the chance to get out and about. There are many ways to stay mobile, social, and connected, even without driving. Exploring transport alternatives together can help make this feel like a shift rather than a full stop.


What Are the Options in our Area?

Wealdlink Community Buses Volunteer-led minibuses for rural areas, shopping trips, and excursions. Telephone: 01892 771332

Volunteer Driver Services Some areas have schemes where trained volunteers provide lifts to appointments, shops, or social activities. These services are often coordinated by churches, community centres, or charities.


Rotherfield St Martin Volunteer Driver Scheme Telephone: 01892 853021

Mayfield & Five Ashes Community Car Scheme Telephone: 01435 873888


Age Concern Heathfield and District


HATCH Voluntary Car Scheme (Hartfield and Coleman’s Hatch)

Telephone: 01892 771331


Carillon Cottage Wadhurst

Telephone: 01892 784191

Free Bus Passes and Concessionary Travel 

If you have reached State Pension age (currently 66), you can apply for a free concessionary bus pass. This gives free off-peak travel on local buses throughout England.

In general, you can use it:

  • Monday to Friday from 9:30am

  • All day at weekends and Bank Holidays

  • On most local bus services throughout England


Apply for a bus pass from East Sussex County Council here


The bit many carers don't know: Companion Passes

This is one of the most useful concessions for people living with dementia.


If someone cannot travel independently because of their disability, they may be able to receive a Companion Pass (shown by a "C+" on the card). This allows another person to travel with them free of charge.


The companion:

  • Does not need their own bus pass

  • Can be a spouse, friend, volunteer, family member or carer

  • Travels free when accompanying the pass holder

  • Can be any age as long as they can provide support during the journey.


For many families affected by dementia, this can save hundreds of pounds a year while making it much easier to continue attending clubs, appointments and social activities.

NHS Patient Transport and Non-Emergency Options

NHS Non‑Emergency Patient Transport Service (NEPTS) Available more than 12 hours a day across Sussex, helping people access clinics and hospital care. Read about the service here.

Lift-Sharing With Friends or Family Setting up regular lifts with neighbours or relatives can help rebuild routine and provide regular companionship.

Mobility Scooters and Travel Aids For local trips or short distances, mobility scooters or walking aids can help someone retain independence without relying on others.

Travel Concessions Make sure to explore eligibility for travel passes, railcards, and Blue Badges. These can make a big difference in day-to-day mobility.

Need Help Navigating the Options?

If transport feels overwhelming or you are not sure what might work, we are here to help. We are building a list of local and national schemes and can help you explore what is available in your area.

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