Why "I've already told you" rarely works

A common early sign of Alzheimer’s disease is short term memory loss. This happens when the hippocampus, the part of the brain that stores new information, is affected. The hippocampus sits in the temporal lobe, just above the ears. You can think of it as the brain’s ‘the click and save’ button, like saving a file on a computer. When dementia affects this area, the “click and save” no longer works properly.

For example, you might say “We are leaving at 3.30 today” and the person may nod or respond. A few minutes later they may ask “What time are we leaving?” In this situation they did hear and understand you, but their brain did not save the information. If you reply “I told you already,” they may truly believe you never said it. The information simply was not stored. This can leave the person feeling agitated or upset because they are being asked to remember something they do not believe they were told.

If they become angry, withdraw, go quiet or leave the room, it is not because they are being difficult. It is their way of coping with the problem.

Top Tips

• Give the person a visual reminder they can keep looking back at, such as a picture of lunch club with the time written on it.

• Write the information down so it is there to see when needed.

• Encourage the use of a diary or a wipe board where they can check the information for themselves.

• Try using small cards on a key ring that the person can carry, showing what is planned for that day.

• Share information close to the time it is needed. If you tell someone too early, they may worry about it.

• Avoid questions that test memory such as “Have you eaten today?” Instead, focus on the need by asking “Are you feeling hungry at all?”

• Make use of assistive devices such as Alexa reminders or electronic pill boxes to help with daily routines.

• Offer reassurance by reminding the person that everyone forgets things sometimes, and acknowledge how frustrating it can feel.

• Ask family and friends to wear name badges so names do not need to be remembered.

• Remember to look after yourself. Answering the same questions over and over is tiring. Taking breaks and recharging your own energy is important.

If you are interested in joining our next dementia carer training or in joining one of

our support groups, call 07472 564519 or email hello@thegoodcompanypeople.org.