What Is a Letter of Wishes and Why Might You Want One?

Planning ahead is not just paperwork. It is a way to make your wishes known, ease the pressure on those around you, and offer peace of mind for the future.

At Good Company, we’ve seen first-hand how difficult things can be when families are left unsure of what someone wanted. One of the stories that helped shape our work was from Hazel, whose daughter Lucy founded Good Company. Hazel lived with Parkinson’s Disease Dementia and passed away in 2024. Her family realised, after her death, that they had never talked about her final wishes. Not knowing whether she wanted to be buried or cremated added extra distress at a painful time.

It’s a reminder of why conversations about the future matter. And one simple way to do that is by writing a Letter of Wishes.

What is a 'Letter of Wishes'?

A Letter of Wishes is a personal document that sits alongside your Will. It is not legally binding, but it can give helpful guidance to the people dealing with your estate. Think of it as a personal note left behind. It can explain decisions, offer practical instructions, and reassure the people you care about.

It is especially helpful if your Will is short or formal, or if there are emotional or personal things you want to say that do not belong in a legal document.

Why would I write a Letter of Wishes if I already have a Will?

Your Will is a legal document that deals with money, property and possessions. It says who gets what and who is responsible for carrying out your wishes. It needs to be formal and precise, which often means it cannot include personal messages or extra detail.

A Letter of Wishes gives you space to say more. It is private, flexible, and written in your own words. You might want to:

• Explain why you have made certain decisions

• Offer guidance on how personal items are shared out

• Leave messages for family members

• Set out your funeral preferences

• Share practical notes that would help your family or executors

While your Will gives instructions, your Letter of Wishes gives meaning. The two work well together.

What can it include?

There is no set format, but people often use it to include:

• A list of people to be informed when you die

• Reasons for gifts or decisions made in your Will

• Instructions for your funeral, such as music or who to invite

• Wishes about how personal items should be passed on

• What you would like to happen to digital accounts and passwords

• Messages of comfort or guidance for family and friends

Some people also use it to express values they hope will be honoured, such as how children are raised or who should care for a pet.

How does it work with your Will?

Your Will is the legal document that ensures your money, home and belongings are dealt with according to your wishes. A Letter of Wishes cannot change your Will, but it can:

• Help explain decisions

• Guide your executors

• Offer clarity and comfort to family members

It is important that your Letter of Wishes does not contradict your Will. If you are unsure, it is a good idea to check with a solicitor.

How to write one

You do not need a solicitor to write a Letter of Wishes, although you can ask one for advice if you prefer. To be most useful, your letter should:

• Be written clearly and signed by you

• Include the date

• Refer to the Will it relates to

• Be kept up to date

You can have more than one Letter of Wishes if you want to separate out different topics, such as funeral wishes and digital information.

Where should you keep it?

Your Letter of Wishes should be kept with your Will, in a safe place where your executors or solicitor can find it. This could be:

• In a clearly labelled envelope with your Will

• Stored by your solicitor, if they are holding your Will

• In a home filing system or secure place, as long as someone knows where to find it

It is important to let someone you trust know that the letter exists and where to locate it.

Not sure where to start?

At Good Company, we know these conversations are not always easy. If you are thinking about writing a Letter of Wishes and are not sure how to begin, speak to someone at your Club or get in touch with the team. We are always happy to help you find useful resources.

If you would like more detailed support, you can also explore the My Future Care Support Service, which offers friendly one-to-one guidance.

Find out more here: www.myfuturecare.org/support